why do men go cold after a breakup

Why Do Guys Go Cold After A Breakup?

Breakups are never easy. Men and women react differently to breakup. There’s always going to be a side hurting more than the other. And mostly it’s the one that got the rejection. But is it the case? Let’s talk about the guys for example. Ever asked, why do guys go cold after a breakup?” Studies have shown that when a guy is about to break up with his partner. He first becomes detached from the dumped. Even weeks before the actual break up, in the case of the dumper. 

But what triggers this notion on the guys? Is there some psychological basis as to why they would act that way, especially after the deed is one? 

This is where we come in. We’re here to shine some light over these mind-boggling matters and explain to you the explanation behind it as well. Though there might be no science when it comes to love. There is an explanation behind the behaviors these guys are acting on. 

Guys commonly cold behavior after a breakup

When it comes to breakups, people tend to believe the dumpee suffers more than the dumped. But the truth is, they both are just as emotionally vulnerable as the other. But guys tend to be a different species when dealing with it. 

The reason why do guys go cold after break up is because they tend to exude a macho exterior. This is to hide the fact that they too are hurting. And most of them are like this. The guy’s behavior after a breakup can be because of toxic masculinity. Wherein they believe that showing and accepting emotions is a sign of weakness. And that they become less of a man when they do. This is where this psychological game of emotional hide and seek comes from. And once it all festers, it boils over towards being distant from the people around them. Owning the pain solo instead of reaching out to those who can actually help ease the pain. Or even just distract them from the fact. 

They might go on hobo mode – a mode where they fly solo and be alone. As if no one is connected to them – and just float. They don’t want to entertain the fact that they just got their heartbroken, ripped to shreds, and stomped on. The worse thing they can do compared to that is to spiral out of control. And just lash out at themselves to forget the pain. The worst part is, they might even start a new relationship to rebound on. It can become toxic for them and the new partner. 

Post Breakup: Understanding Male Psychology

  1. After the breakup, the first thing most men feel is anger and might become self-destructive. This is a classic in male psychology after a breakup and might be done inwards or outwards. Inwards is when they keep this anger to themselves. And might become a source of irritability, instability, and what have you. Outwards is when they lash out and exhibit self-detonating actions like drinking and drugs to alter their emotions. And avoid the pain, thus feeling numb in the process. Some may resort to drinking out with friends or alone.
  2. Pride is one of the keywords as to why do guys go cold after break up. They avoid talking about the ex as if the relationship never happened or at least pretend. What they end up doing is stalking their exes on social media, trying to keep tabs on them. They might not double-tap the most recent Instagram photo you shared. But best be sure that they’re still watching what you’re doing from afar. 
  3. Insecurity rots the bones. And this rotten behavior of guys going into another relationship. Without processing their past relationship is as toxic as it can be. Some guys believe that the best way to get over a past relationship is to go on the next one. Though this may somehow work temporarily. It’s only time that the surge of emotional baggage will just be deflected and put on the new partner. Setting up failed expectations. Comparisons and what have you is sure to arise in the next relationship. Ultimately ruining another relationship and adding to that baggage. Unless these guys learn how to process emotions properly, all they’re doing is collecting exes. 

Signs When Guys Are Still Hurting After A Breakup

Though we might not be mind readers, there are some signs we can look out for. To help these guys avoid any toxicity towards themselves. These are:

1. Trash-talking the ex

Though things might not have ended right, it is never right to bad mouth an individual just because of a bad relationship. Spewing lies about them is worse and should not be tolerated. This is the most common aftereffect as to why do guys go cold after break up.

2. Depression

Even as a dumper, guys are still prone to depression. Though they don’t need to consistently be happy or ecstatic, they have to at least process their emotions properly to avoid spiraling into a void. This is one of the most common signs he is hurting after the breakup. You may not hear or see it, but it’s there. Believe us!

3. Quick rebound

A rebound is a rebound, but the good things can only last until it doesn’t. Though things might be good now, unresolved emotional baggage might be put on the new relationship unnecessarily. 

4. Impulsivity

Reacting to the situation, vices might become the thing that drives him which is a big no. It may help temporarily but numbing yourself from feeling the pain defeats the purpose of moving on. 

5. Regression is one reason why guys go cold after the break-up

If somehow an ex made someone pick better choices. After the breakup, the dumper or dumped might go back to their old ways. And sometimes old ways are bad for them. 


Breaking up with someone is not something we all wish even towards our worst enemies. To break someone’s heart is by all means breaking their souls, as well. But going cold after has become so normal. That it has become a toxic trait towards most guys go cold that it’s not even funny anymore. It’s worrying when a guys go cold after a breakup. And becomes self-destructive in the process of moving, and that’s even assuming they’re going through the process and not just numbing themselves. 

So, when wondering why do guys go cold after a breakup. Really be there to watch out for them as they need all the help they can get. Going through a breakup is no easy task. And sometimes it takes a whole village to show support and push them forward and begin the healing process. 

They may have lost love but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it anymore. Show some love, bros!

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